Don't you know me by Now?

I am ashamed to admit that I knew nothing about cinema outside of Hollywood up to the age of 19.  I simply never encountered an environment in which I would have the opportunity, though that in itself isn't enough of an excuse.

And when I was doing my foundation course in fine art at Wimbledone School of Art, and an evening, some girls I knew arranged to all go to a cinema in Chelsea to watch Almodovar's All About my Mother, they asked me and I said of course.  What a difference two little words could make.

I had no idea what it was that was unfolding in front of me on the screen, such colours, such stories, such faces, such voices and characters and more stories, and more stories... and suddenly, the world opens up and Hollywood becomes a distant, faded white noise, which is usually just in the background but at times simply annoying.  They do make good films from time to time, and European cinemas have their terrible moments, but how what treasure!!

After a BA in Fine Art and History of Art, when I was introduced to even more European filmmakers, I got myself into UCL for an MA in Film Studies.  I needed more, and I needed to see those actors again, who are not acting and simply being, just like you and just like me, except for they're caught on the camera.  They're beautiful, they're plain, they're striking, they're ordinary, but they're all so... unusual.  Of course, that's a romanticised version of European cinema, only the high profile and the selected are shown over here, there is a huge amount of mediocre films that I don't get to see, not being in those countries, and Hollywood had its golden eras, the 20s with the invention of filmmaking language of D.W. Griffith, the 30s wasn't bad, the golden 40s and 50s, and the 70s with the hard hitting Scorses et. co.  But oh... what magic... in European Cinema!!  I found myself laughing and engrossed in Volver, Penelope Cruz has never been better, and yet for the life of me, I do not remember what it is that she had done in Hollywood, what formula did they try to fit her in?  She's beautiful, and--and this seems to be an absolute must if one were to make it in Hollywood--slim, and exotic, so what did they do to her?  Well, never mind, she's back and what a return!!  Every artist, dancer, writer, painter, all knows that when things seem as if they can't get any worse, the only thing, and the best of things, is to go back to the basics.  So dancers return to their barres, artist returns to their paper and pencils and sketches (I do anyway... there might be better methods practised by others much more talented and successful than me but it is unknown to me), and actors, they know where to return to and who to trust, when things really get tough.  And in the profession of the arts, things are very often tough and there is very rarely a sight of a way out, or a way up.  No one can answer all the questions in your head except for yourself... at least I would like to think so.  Is it really only the lonely? 

I have Three Colours Red on DVD on TV at the moment, as I want to see how much French I can still understand, and since I am typing this at the moment, I hardly look over at the screen, so I just listen... and surprisingly, it's still more or less there...The beautiful Irene Jacob--Valentine--is in the scene, having a drink with the judge at the judge's house, after his court hearing because he writes and confesses to his habit of eavesdropping on his neighbour's phone conversation,a stone had just been thrown through the window and broken the glass, and Valentine had just swept it all up for him.  He now tells her his dream of her, of her when she would be about 40, 50 years old and that she would be happy, she asked if his dreams come true, and he said that, "it's been years since I dreamt something nice."