Just got back from dance class and had a wonderful pizza, ah it is true what they say, when you're hungry, unless the food is absolutely atrocious, otherwise anything would taste good. 

Never thought that I would ever be homesick, but there you go...  It was hard to say goodbye to parents this time when I was coming back to the U.K.  In the past, it was always quite fun, and though I always enjoyed time with my parents, I was always happy to be back too.  This time, I was very happy to be back but... somehow for the first time, I felt like I had left something behind, something precious.  Ah it just occurred to me as I was typing this, that it really dawned on me this time, that I am no longer that fresh-faced, young, innocent girl in the pictures that my mother had framed and placed all over my table in the bedroom at home.  I still have all my dreams, and I still know that they will all come true one day, but I am no longer that child and that is a fact, and it is very sad, to suddenly realise that. 

My parents look after themselves and their health so well that they barely aged all these years, it is me that is constantly changing.  But because of my constant change, I become aware of the passing of time.  It was wonderful to be that little girl, to be sneaking behind my mother's back for a bite of junk food, which was not allowed me, or to secretly switch on the TV the moment mother stepped outside the flat, as I was only allowed TV during weekends when I was young. 

I only hope that I have grown into someone that my parents could love, and that I don't ever disappoint them.  Mother told me something that I will always keep in my heart, that is, "You should never live your life based on anyone else's opinion but your own."  I asked her, "but what if it were your opinion?  You're my mother, surely I should care about that?"  She said, "no, not even my opinion." 

It was fair to say that, this time when I boarded the plane, it was with a heart that was surprisingly heavy.  I had no control over my tears as it glided down my cheeks.  No one saw, frankly, I don't care if anyone did.